Warning, this is a blog about periods. You shouldn’t read it if you have an issue with periods or talking about them or honesty. Ok. I’m going in.
Have you got your period today sisters? Let’s have a chat about what you’re going to wear then…Woah woah woah, don’t you be running at me with scissors, just back the truck up there, nice and easy my lovelies. Sooooooothing music, babbling brook, sleeping babies, you better now?
Let me explain myself. I am here in solidarity. I am, but I think I have devised a way to be smart and get through in relative style, those two to nine days it takes for the outpouring of our lady hormones to be gone. Did I say nine? Ring a bell to anyone of you? Can we start a club? The nine day leeching club? The on the rag, ain’t getting no bone club? The I think I may have started the steady decline into menopause club? Just so you know, it’s called perimenopause and I think I caught it already. I promise to be very vocal on this matter as I walk that path. I’ll take you on the journey with me – just like my midwife liked to tell me pregnancy was a journey and I needed to get on that train. Anyhoo, I digress.
So, you have your period. Still. Good. Or not, not going to lie. It’s a shocker (read shitter). A total and utter shocker (read shitter) AND it can ruin really great underwear. Yes I went there. Too soon? Well sorry. What was I saying, I have my period you know, it’s symptoms are as bad as pregnancy forgetfulness.
Right, back on track, here I am, hope I didn’t lose you. I AM NOT HERE TO TELL YOU WHAT TO WEAR when you have your period, wouldn’t dream of it. What I’d like to do though, is make a few gentle suggestions on how to dress to make it easy on yourself. This is top expert opinion, as studied by me. Thanks. Ok, here goes, I’m going in, again.
Black Ops – Today is the day to wear black – I’m not usually the biggest advocate of an all black outfit, unless New Zealand’s Rugby team is playing. I do love how injecting colour can raise an outfit from ok to spesh. But right now sister, as I sit in my black pleather jeggings and a black merino waterfall cardigan, I feel just fine. Aside from the period pain and pimples. My only other suggestion is maybe you could wear navy at a push.
Next, put some lippy on. Just do it. It’ll give your pale arse complexion some colour, just do it.
Yoga pants? sure, wear them. I’ll let that slide this once. Having said that, if you’re going out in the world or to work, then try lifting the game above yoga pant level and wear a pair of pull on trousers with a waist so high it will disguise the belly that this torrent of blood has gifted you. A donut may have also been involved, but I won’t tell.
Wear flats or a slightly raised boot, don’t whatever you do, wear a heel with your period. It will end you.
Makeup. Wear some. Mascara, lippy, coverage. Lip gloss. You’re good.
Hair, shove it in a bun or pony. Call it bohemian chic and you’re good. Wear sunglasses.
Food, your gonna want to eat a lot of carbs. I suggest a pita garlic bread – not ridiculously bad for you and you could have it with meatballs and call it a complete Italian meal, add a little twist on country of origin with a Greek Salad on the side, which technically isn’t a salad cause you could just pile on the feta. I’m veering way off-course here and delving into food blogging – not what you signed up for.
There endeth the lesson Sisterhood.
Right, I’m off to eat some food and grab a wheatbag. Thanks for letting me turn periods into a style blog. You’re ace. You are.
Embracing the sisterhood, periods & all.
PS – what do you call your period? Asking for a friend.